OOC INFORMATIONPlayer Name: Faye
Are you over 18?: Very much so
Contact: red.headed.rapunzel@gmail.com
Other Characters in Game: N/A
IC INFORMATIONCharacter Name: Nadine Cross
Canon: The Stand
Canon Point: The desert before Vegas
Background: wiki linkSuitability: For the majority of her life, Nadine has had very little power or control over her own life and circumstances. The premise of Abraxas offer her chances to gain her own power and exert control to an extent, something she's desperate for. She can learn magic, she can gain influence and effect her own circumstances. She's known since she was young she had a great destiny ahead of her, and she isn't going to let being stuck here take that chance away from her.
Powers: Nadine is, for the most part, a perfectly ordinary human person without any extraordinary powers. The only small exception is that she's able to psychically call on/contact Randall Flagg, a powerful force of evil within her canon. She does so utilizing a talking board planchette. It's hardly anything, but I figured it worth mentioning as a Randall Flagg is also applying, and so it may end up relevant in the event both characters are accepted to the game.
PERSONALITY QUESTIONSDescribe an important event in your character's life and how it impacted them.After the plague had wiped out 99% of human life on the planet and Nadine set out to cross the United States, she found a feral eleven year old boy dying on the front lawn of a house in New Hampshire, shortly after she got on the road. Long before the super flu came along, Nadine already knew her 'destiny', and she knew exactly where the journey she was setting out on would take her. To exactly what she'd been preparing for and waiting for her entire life.
Even so, she stopped when she found the boy. She stayed with him and nursed him back to health - at least physically. The child - that she called Joe - had reverted to a fully feral state, lashing out physically and refusing to wear clothes or even speak. He was a dangerous liability that was only going to keep Nadine longer from her end goal, he's not part of the plan, the logical thing to do would have been to leave him. But she didn't. She took him with her, despite every day being a challenge and the trip that much more difficult.
Joe gave Nadine a solid and tangible purpose. This child
needed her. He would have died without her. No matter how devoted to her end goal she was, how eager she was to finally go to the man who'd claimed her, she couldn't just leave this boy to his fate - even at risk to herself. And the idea of going to Flagg, of this great destiny she was being saved for...it was an intangible idea, something promised in dreams. Joe was a living, breathing human child right in front of her. He was something she understood and had already given her adult life over to - she'd been an elementary school teacher since she graduated college. Children were already her physical, waking life.
And Joe did bond with her, fiercely. It took pretty much all of her mental and emotional and sometimes physical energy, but she was able to start bringing Joe back from the edge. Suddenly Nadine had something else important that she cared about.
Her decision to rescue and 'adopt' Joe effects decisions she makes for the rest of her life. While traveling with Joe, they encounter another survivor on the road, Larry Underwood - who Joe promptly tries to kill with a knife. Nadine intervenes and gets Joe calmed down and under control, and the three end up traveling together. Surprisingly, Joe also begins to bond with Larry, something Nadine is impressed by and honestly attracted to. She starts to have doubts about her choices, for once seeing the possibility of a different kind of life. But not enough doubt to change her plans, at least at this point. That seed was planted, though.
Later, when in the safe haven of Boulder, where those survivors drawn by Flagg's nemesis have gathered, Nadine is officially asked to adopt Joe and serve as his mother, to which she agrees. She tries to balance her work for Flagg and her daily life as Joe's mother, with difficulty and growing guilt. To the point where she makes a desperate - and failed - bid to break Flagg's hold over her so she can remain in Boulder and live the false life she's taken up. It fails, and she accepts her future, but still she finds herself conflicted, taking Joe into consideration at every step. When she's tasked with helping Flagg's other agent in Boulder plant and detonate a bomb to wipe out as many of the residents as possible she goes along...but, contrary to orders, arranges it so that Joe and the other children of Boulder are in no danger.
While Joe wasn't enough for Nadine to break away from Flagg and deny her fate, bringing him into her life shook her resolve and effected how she thought and acted from the first day.
Does your character have a moral code, or other set of standards they try to live by?Nadine very much exists in a morally gray area. She is not, by nature, a violent or dangerous person. She doesn't take any joy or pleasure in hurting others, it's not something she seeks to do. When ordered to kill, she's mildly resistant. But, as it goes with many aspects of Nadine's life, loyalty to Flagg tends to trump nearly everything else. When it comes down to the wire, she kills without hesitation to preserve her cover and continue her work in Boulder. She willingly lies to maintain the fiction she's just another survivor, though it's clear it doesn't come easily to her.
Even when it comes to her own personal autonomy, Nadine's own wants and boundaries are secondary to Flagg's. She had no intimate personal relationships her entire pre-plague life, to save herself for him. But when it suited the grander scheme, Nadine was ordered to engage in intimate physicality - short of actual sexual intercourse - with Flagg's other agent in Boulder, a moody and hate-filled eighteen year old to secure his loyalty and manipulate him. Nadine is reluctant, but does as she's told.
The one notable exception is, as indicated in the above section, children. The only times Nadine acts entirely on her own accord, out of her own sense of morals and convictions, involve children. Even, when she saves the children of Boulder, going directly against what she's been told. Children, to her, are true innocents. She's compelled by her base nature to protect and help and guide them, to shelter them as best she can from the harsh reality of adulthood and all that comes with it. This need, this drive, overpowers all others.
What quality or qualities do they admire most?Perhaps because she finds it lacking in herself, Nadine admires people who stick to their convictions. She understands what it takes to make the 'right' choice, and to do the good thing, and it's something in other people that she respects a great deal. She calls Larry Underwood a 'good man' because of his adherence to his own moral code and personal beliefs, and his determination to be a better man.
And honestly she just admires and tends to be touched by people who show kindness when they have no reason to. It's heavily implied Nadine's experiences in foster care were not good, and she expresses feeling unwanted by every home she was place in. That lack of kindness and warmth as she grew up left a mark on her, and it's something she notices and resonates with her when she encounters it in other people. In the novel she expresses a desire to be a part of the warmth and community she sees in Boulder, something in that calls to her.
In a similar vein, she has respect and admiration for power. Lacking it in her own life, it's something else that resonates with her. It's something she wishes she had, something she sees as important and meaningful. It's a tangible form of strength, and there's a part of her that very much wants to be protected and taken care of, something that power equals in her mind.
Do they have a part of themselves they dislike?Depends on the time of day...but in all seriousness, Nadine has a very fraught relationship with herself. She knows what she's signed herself up for, she knows what she's getting into with Flagg. She's aware of his darkness and what he's capable of, and what she is complicit in by virtue of association. And there is a part of herself that hates it, hates that she's okay with this, hates that she's committed to this, hates that she'll do whatever he asks of her. She lies to herself about the nature of their relationship, convincing herself that Flagg loves her and she's important and special. She's willing to kill innocent for this man and despite justifying and excusing it to herself, under all the self-denial she's disgusted with herself. She considers herself damned beyond redemption for what she's done, so may as well try and enjoy the ride. She tries to brush off the things he has her do as just unpleasant jobs, a necessary price to be paid for her prize and convinces herself it's alright, it doesn't mean she's just being used. She's
important.
Besides that, there is a practicality and logic to Nadine, and she reasons that if someone like Randall Flagg wants
her, she
has to be a bad person. Someone like that wouldn't want a
good person. What possible use or interest could she possibly be to him if she were 'good'?
But she does, overall, hate herself for her choices and tries to just bury it and pretend otherwise.
What is their sign, and why? Nadine's sigh is The World, sign of guides and teachers. Teaching wasn't just a job to her, it was more like a calling, what she always knew she was going to do. It was also something she found great fulfilment in.
SAMPLES & ARRIVALSamples: Toplevel and log on TDM TDM LogArrival Scenario: Welcomed!